Does gift-giving stress you out, or is it just me? I’ve felt guilty when someone gave me something I didn’t like, worried that they’d find out and be hurt, and then felt pressured to make space for it in my home.
But as minimalist Joshua Becker writes, “nobody wants to burden you with a gift,” so years ago I decided to be proactive about gifting. Now those negative feelings have been replaced with joy and gratitude. These are the five key strategies that work for me:
- Ask for consumables, like wine, gourmet coffee, or artisanal chocolate. You don’t even have to ask, you can just drop hints regularly! I started talking about how much I love Jo Malone candles, and lo and behold I now find myself happily unwrapping them.
- Express a preference for experiences over things. In his book Stuffocation, James Wallman points to scientific fact that experiences make you happier than material possessions. One of my friends gives me a manicure for my birthday each year, which is an even better treat because I also get to spend that time with her.
- Suggest donations to charities that matter to you on your behalf. One Father’s Day I made a donation in my dad’s name to a charity that helped children without fathers, and he absolutely beamed.
- Change expectations around gift giving. You could suggest a Secret Santa instead of giving individual gifts to everyone in a group, saving time, stress and money. In my immediate family, Christmas was getting out of control, so we decided to limit ourselves to giving each other ornaments for the tree, which now make for such fun memories each year when we decorate.
- If there’s something specific you need or want, ask for it. My friend had been eyeing a special rocking chair before having her first baby and asked that everyone contributed to it instead of picking their own gifts, which we were all happy to do.
Using these strategies will help you take control of gifting, reduce stress and guilt, and improve your well-being. But what to do if you receive a gift that you don’t want? Or already have a few dozen unwanted gifts burdening you at home? Start by checking out the blog post: “What to do with unwanted gifts.”
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